I feel like we all are fighting with this feeling of “I am not good enough”. It’s haunting us like a shadow – wherever we are, wherever we go… It’s somewhat at the back of our minds and when we don’t want to hear it, the gremlin of “Not good enough” jumps out over and over again. So what is it?!
I can’t explain it better than Brene Brown in her book The gifts of imperfections. It’s one of my favourite books for sure! Yes, when I read it the first time I felt like I identified with every sentence she wrote! It’s scary but also comforting that I wasn’t alone! We all feel like that! Maybe not at all times but here and there!
So what helped me to get over the strong “I am not good enough”? Many things – reading and exploring psychological books on this topic. Digging deep with a help of a psychologist and figuring out where this feeling was rooted. I actually re-experienced some of the “critical” experiences of my life and started to understand my behavioural patterns which used to serve me well. But they no longer are! Isn’t that surprising?! We learn something which helps us cope with the world, people and situations. Somehow we all get to a saturation point and the learned pattern no longer serves us and we feel stuck or that something is wrong. We need to learn what it is and why is that and change the pattern in order to get unstuck and move on. So the question is: What is your pattern you are living in and restrains you?! What is that keeps you stuck and you just can’t move on?!
Also, the good enough comes with constant search for external validation. We all want to be the “good girls or boys”, listen, please, be liked, etc. We are searching for external validation and appreciation. Yet, this is the way to self-destruction. We need to look for the good from inside out. Find it in us and be happy with how we live and what we do. No one can ever make us happy. Only we can! Yes, it is a hard work sometimes and it starts with self-love. It’s a journey and a lot of exploration, mental exercises, compassion and meditation. But the inner peace is worth it. Trust me! Look at the flower and nature in general. The flowers are so beautiful and yet not perfect! And yes, they are perfectly good enough!!!
When are you starting on your journey of self-love and “good enough”?! You will see how rewarding this journey is!